Discipline
I have extracted the subject of this article mainly from a book
by the famous Psychologist, Dr. Scott Peck, MD entitled, The
Road Less Traveled. This was on the best sellers’ list
of books about ten years ago. I enjoyed reading it at that time,
but as is usually the case, many of its salient features were forgotten
or never registered in my mind. Recently I noticed my daughter was
reading this book, and so I browsed through it and it had a very
profound effect on me.
Most of Dr. Peck’s observations are already mentioned in
the Holy Koran (Quran). I will try to point them out to the best
of my knowledge and ability. According to Dr. Peck, life is difficult
and this is a great truth. Life is a series of problems that most
of us moan about, instead of trying to solve.
Discipline is the basic set of tools we require to solve life’s
problems. Without discipline, we can solve nothing; but with some
discipline, we can solve many problems with God’s help. For
example, as a submitter (Muslim), we discipline ourselves by trying
to observe God’s commandments in our daily lives.
What makes life difficult is that the process of confronting and
solving problems is a painful one. Yet it is in this whole process
of meeting and solving problems that life has its meaning. Problems
create our courage and our wisdom. It is only because of problems
that
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we grow mentally and spiritually. When we
desire to encourage the growth of the human spirit, we challenge
and encourage the human capacity to solve problems. Just as in school
we deliberately set problems for our children to solve.
It is through the pain of confronting and resolving problems that
we learn. As Benjamin Franklin said, “Those things that hurt,
instruct. It is for this reason that wise people learn not to fear
problems, but to actually welcome the pain of problems.” As
it is said, no pain, no gain.
Did we not show him the two paths? He should choose
the difficult path. (90:10-11)
Most of us are not so wise. Because of the pain involved in confronting
problems, almost all of us to a greater or lesser degree attempt
to avoid problems. We procrastinate, hoping they will go away. We
ignore them, forget them and pretend they do not exist.
Discipline is the basic set of tools we require to solve life’s
problems. These tools are techniques by which we experience the
pain of problems in such a way as to work through them and solve
them successfully, learning and growing in the process.
There are four tools of discipline:
- delaying of gratification and pleasure
- acceptance of responsibility
- dedication to truth and reality
- balancing.
These are simple tools and almost all children are adept in the
use of them by the age of ten. Yet presidents and kings will often
forget to
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use them to their own downfall. The
problem lies not in the complexity of these tools, but in the will
to use them. For they are tools with which pain is confronted rather
that avoided.
Delaying of Gratification
The first of the tools of discipline is delaying gratification.
This is a process of scheduling the pain and pleasure of life in
such a way as to enhance the pleasure by experiencing the pain first
and getting it over with. This means we should always do our difficult
task first and then do the easy or the pleasant task next. We always
want our children to do their homework first, before they are allowed
to watch TV. Another example of delaying gratification is a student
who takes the time and effort to finish school and college first,
before he or she can get a good job and reap the fruits of his or
her labor.
Good discipline requires time—time to pay attention to our
children and loved ones; time to learn and time to solve problems.
It is said that if we take the time to concentrate, we can solve
many of the problems that seem difficult to us at first.
Responsibility
The second tool of discipline is responsibility. We cannot
solve life’s problems except by solving them. This statement
may seem self evident, yet it is beyond the understanding of much
of the human race. This is because we must accept responsibility
for a problem before we can solve it. We cannot solve a problem
by saying it is not a problem. But many seek to avoid the pain of
the problem by saying
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